I was struck by the randomness of Artemis Fowl riding a
quagga. So when I belatedly decided to sketch something from this book, that's what I ended up doing. It was pretty awful, though, so I'll spare you.
But then I went back and listened to the scene with the quagga again, just in case I'd missed any details. Now, I should say, I usually don't have trouble suspending my disbelief. I apparently can't distinguish good acting from bad because I so easily get into stories. And Artemis Fowl doesn't pretend to be realistic by any means.
[nitpicky rant ensuing] But I found the likelihood of famously uncoordinated Artemis Fowl getting on (and staying on!) a panicked, never-before-ridden equine, who is likely already in motion, (and DIRECTING THE THING AROUND, no less...) is rather low, no matter how good of a rider he might be...
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| Sorry, Arty. I'm sure you'd like to claim you're an ace bareback rider, among your many other talents, but I'm afraid that exhibits 1 & 2 seem to be the much more likely results of your attempted quagga escape. |
So then I got to thinking about things from the quagga's point of view.
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| AHHH! HUMAN-MONKEY ON MY BACK GETITOFFGETITOFFGETITOFF!!! |
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| OH MY GOODNESS IT WON'T LET GO. But that crazy little pixie is scarier, sooo, time to run! |
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| What is this? A tugging sensation on the back of my neck? This has got to be one of the lamest predators ever! Where's the pointy claws and teeth? |
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| Ugh ugh ugh, stepping on tiny rodents is gross. Hey, look! Elevated surfaces! I can go up there and avoid all the little creatures underfoot! |
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| I've got to give it to him, this monkey has the greatest sticking power ever. I thought surely this would knock him off. |
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| OH! Light! Glorious, real, natural light! But I can't get to it yet! Oh, I'MSOEXCITED! *runs in giddy circles* Heyyy, why is this thing still on my back?! *runs in faster circles* |
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*ahem* Now, as for what should happen as soon as they get out on that ramp, refer back to exhibits 1b & 2b.
[/end nitpicky rant]
